Friday, March 13, 2009

ANDREW HARDINGHAM: F**k the Olympics, F**k Visa & McDonalds & f**k the F.I.S.

Andrew is a super talented individual. It may not be actual talent, it may just be the lack of fear to try anything. The end result is that Andrew delivers, it may be pooh in a box or a 100ft rock ride or a narrow Avalanche escape. With Andrew anything is possible. (source:

My home town is Banff Alberta Canada. A beautiful little spot filled with snow angels and gingerbread men. Right in the heart of the Canadian rocky mountains. I like the Canadian Rockies more than the USA’s Rockies because our Rockies look way bigger. Our valleys are much lower altitude so the mountains look much more bad ass. If you’ve ever been to Colorado you'll know that they are more about bragging about the altitude of their towns rather than the vertical of their mountains. i like my mountains to have vertical. It’s better for riding and just makes the mountains look rad! However they probably have more red blood cells than me which makes them stronger humans. That’s cool too i guess.
What does being Canadian mean to you?
Well I love where i live in the world. BC and the western stretch of Alberta is great. There is so much to do here because of the mountains, plus the continental divide (Atlantic-pacific) is only 5 kms from my house which is the BC-Alberta boarder so i can fish for BC salmon without driving too far. Love the fly fishing! But as far as being a Canadian I’m on the fence. It’s a great country to belong too when you take away the dick sucking we do to the Americans. It seems like all of our large business does whatever the big spender asks of us. Take the oil sands in northern Alberta. Worst thing in the world for the environment. polluting our water and land at a catastrophic rate, creating something future generation can't even use and will have to work to clean up for decades if not centuries... why? Because the Americans want our oil. Fucking pisses me off. I guess it’s just beautiful capitali$m in motion though. What can I say? I am a man with different ideas about what’s important I guess. Plus i have always said that it wasn't my country that made me the man i am today, it’s the region i live in. "The Rockies and interior BC mountains”. It is here i learned to be the man I am today. Appreciating the land and all it has to offer. it’s what made me realize that life is more important than money and i would rather be poor as shit and living the life of a retired man while I’m young (it’s what I do now) than working my youth away so that i can have a sweet leather couch i never get to sit in and an awesome boat that chicks dig only they don't dig wrinkly old retired balls so what’s the point. I’ll probably have to work till I’m 90 but who cares right? There are so many different kinds of Canadians. I'm not a nationalistic person and I love so many other countries and people so I'm kinda like “what evs”.
Have you ever been to the UK?
I’ve never been there but I’m itching to go one day. I keep looking for a good reason or rich woman who will use my body in exchange for a two way ticket but I haven’t found it or her yet. But believe it or not I absolutely love the English chicks. Something super sweet about their style.
4. You were injured pretty badly recently. Describe what happened.
A) I smashed my pelvis like a glass bottle dropped on concrete. They cut me wide open and went in elbow deep. I think they dropped a pair of scissors and sowed me up because it still hurts. But the doctor says that's normal.It was a huge jump that no one wanted to hit so Dustin Craven and I stepped up to bat and we both got sent into space off this thing, Seriously huge. Like 50 feet high and 100 feet long.We shaved the kick down and the next day. A few peeps strait aired it and then I opened it up with a back 540 and stomped the shit out of her. So I was all stoked. Then on the second hit I tried a front 720 under flip but didn’t flip enough and whammy! It was broken pelvis time. Oopsthe ski patrol sexually assaulted me because I think they touched my bum then when I got to the hospital there was like 10 female nurses and doctors and they striped me nude and were all moaning and growing and looking at my special place. Then one of them got some balls and grabbed my cock and shoved a catheter in my pee hole. She didn’t warn me or anything but I wasn’t mad because I was way too turned on. Sexy shit I tells ya. Later that week after surgery they wanted to take it out and I wouldn’t let them because I had grown quite fond of peeing into a bag and never having to go to the toilet. Eventually I took it out myself. Gross feeling but again it was kinda sexy.
5. TYP (Throw Your Panties) is an insane film. What was its purpose? If any.
A) well, the story goes as such…."Throw your Panties" (TYP) is a big time movie i made in hopes of helping my father (whom owns a toilet paper factory) make enough money to buy a whole turkey at Christmas time. the goal of the film is to create a film so insane it will turn people’s brains into shit and i think that will be good business for my dad... he's had rough times ever since the green movement and everyone started washing their ass in the sink to save on TP. he almost blew his brains out when that bitch Cheryl crow told the world to only use only 1-2 squares per wipe..... But things are on the up-and-up since the release of the film. Toilet paper stock is at an all time high and my dad just dropped in on a Christmas paper role that features Santa Claws and Mrs. Claws on every square. It turns your ass green and red but you feel like Picasso every pull. i think that if the movie keeps selling the way it is and people keep eating junk food the way they do, we shouldn’t be hungry at Christmas. Throw your Panties will turn your brains to shit…. Guaranteed.I also was getting sick of the repetitive way snowboard films were made. The never changing porno films. Personally, I was craving more personality and substance and finally after bitching about it there was only one thing left to do and that was make my own film and do it my way. I love fucking around and fucking with other people. My buddy Joey and I edited TYP so no one knew what it was going to turn out like. Often the riders would drop by my place for a look. I'd show them a few sections but never anything put together. I wanted the world to see that it doesn’t have to be snowboard porno all the time and that we can embrace a different style of shred flick. It’s OK to have the old school style film out there just not 30 of them with no sign of anything else. Anyway, everyone loved it except for a few assholes and soccer moms that gave it to their kids at Christmas as stocking stuffers. We marketed them as “a great stocking stuffer for kids”, Oops!
6. We hear you will be producing a new film 'Thunder Mouth'. What do you have in store for the viewer this time?
A) All I can say about thunder mouth is get ready to have your brains turned to shit… wait that’s last year’s marketing campaign. This year we want to make thunder mouth so good that it will force the action movie world to change their ways. With thunder mouth I want to push the joke to a new level. It should offend some people. That’s how you know you’re doing a good job. See people who make everyone happy are just plain lame. That or they are only doing it to pay rent. Because realistically if you’re out there making everyone happy than they’ll only ever be marginally happy or marginally satisfied with the product. I feel that the fans of the films should be really fucken happy and love the shit out of it. Or ells hate the shit out of it. That means your sticking to your guns as a producer/director. Principles are important and compromise is something corporations do to sell more things at walmart. This is also a big part of the reason I pay for most of the film myself. The sponsors that do support us do a great job; they all help out more than they need too. The nice thing about the sponsors of this film is they all know I'm going to do it my way and none of them have any problems with that. They just give me what I need and say “can’t wait to see the finished product”. For me a good sponsor is one that if you happen to get crazy drunk in front of and pull your dick out and piss all over the table. They won’t boot you off the team. They’ll just laughs and tell the story the next day. They might even encourage your behaviour. That’s what my sponsors are like. Some of my sponsors might even be the ones pissing on the table before me… we get along good and they trust me so it’s a good relationship. That’s how it should be and ill always take less money to have the financial supporters believe in my film. What more can a director ask for, really? I never got sponsored because I might be a marketable name like Shawn white. Pepsi will never hire me. And I will never have a clothing line in Target. I don’t care if you give me a million bucks. I’d rather be fucking poor than lose my peers respect.
7. Use 3 words to describe yourself:
A) Relaxed, political, independent
I think the first two are an oxymoron but I like morons and oxen so I'm cool with it.
8. Describe your relationship with snow and snowboarding
A) it’s an interesting one I think because I started when the sport was still young. The cool thing about that is snowboarding in Canada started right here in Banff and Calgary. The first snowboarders in Canada were from Calgary and the first hill to let them ride was Sunshine Village 15 minutes from Banff. It’s where I do a good part of my filming and shooting these days. I love it there. Another interesting thing is my father worked at sunshine as the outdoor manager wile snowboarding was just getting started in the early 80’s. He always told me stories about how snowboarders would come and ask if they could ride the hill. Apparently he was one of the first people to let them ride the lifts. At first they weren’t allowed but because they were so keen my pops told me he would let them hike. He thought they were goof balls and didn’t see the sport as something that would go anywhere but he did admire their persistence so he told them to stay out of people’s way and they could shred the hill.As the sport grew up it got so much more resistance from dumb shit ski racers and ski associations that thought it was impure. They ignorantly thought snowboarders were bad news that were always drunk and scraped the snow off the mountains. I started riding in 1992 so I still got some of that attitude. It actually made the sport way cooler because we had to stick together and rise above the ignorance. Until around 1996-7 there were still two sides. You were ether a skier or a snowboarder and there was no in between. We would have skier vs. boarder fights in school and shit. It was rad! We hated jocks for the longest time but now it seems like half the snowboard populous are jocks. Whatever though, the sport changed and I watched it change and it’s really interesting to witness. I'm just glad I got to see a few different sides of the sport I love. Now days most of the new freestyle kids don’t know shit about how original the sport once was. They only know the world of soccer moms and Olympic tryouts as if that competition actually matters. The Olympics don’t mean shit for snowboarding. It only means WAY more money for corporate fools that want to exploit the sport. Sure it’s great that my parents see snowboarding as a real sport but I’d rather they think its crap and go back to the day when only people who loved riding did it. I’ll always accept this sport the way it is. Just don’t expect me to support things like the Olympics. Fuck the Olympics. Fuck Visa and McDonalds and fuck the F.I.S. and Olympic committee.
9. What would make snowboarding (the industry, lifestyle and sport) better, in your opinion?
A) Taking it away from the Olympics, Strait up. It’s insane that the biggest money making event in the world won’t pay their athletes a dime. Every single Olympic comity member makes mad loot. All the secretary’s that type memos make a salary. All the couches make money, even the food runners and bars in town during the show make money, but the only people you can’t replace are made to feel guilty to even ask for financial help. Then the countries are criticized for not supporting the athletes. Why the hell should a country pay that cost when the Olympics should be paying the stars of the show? Every single athlete whether they win or lose are out there working hard as hell. I know of athletes that had to do bottle drives to afford their plane tickets to the Olympics. They wanted to go as independent athletes so they didn’t have to do the corporate dic suck dance and wear all the gear and logos most athletes are forced to do and wear. I think it’s insane that a scenario like this can even exist. Take this for example. Danny Cass is sponsored by Libtech and Grenade clothing and gloves for the entire 4 years it takes him to train and get to the level it takes to qualify and compete at an Olympic level. When he finally gets to go he has to change all the sizes of the logos on his gear so that there virtually impossible to see on camera. Yet while he does his run a VISA logo is placed in the bottom right corner of the screen and some other financial institute or crap fast food company in the left. Two companies that had no part in him getting there or supporting him in any way yet they somehow have a right to advertise during Danny’s run. Of course everyone in the world is programmed to reply to my theory with this “but the Olympics bring people and countries together. Isn’t that more important?” this is what the Olympic comity has in-doctored into the worlds heads so that they can continue having $60,000 dollar lunches, selling the world’s best athletes images, persona's and talents for millions of dollars and keep running the largest profiting event on earth without losing a dime of money on talent. Congratulations world because we’ve created an unstoppable monster.
10. Who are your sponsors?
A) Ride snowboards & bindings, WESC clothing, Drop gloves, Vonzipper, Bruxe bags, Eesa firstlayer, Rudeboys shop, and etnies/32.
Bonus question: Any famous last words of wisdom?
You bet I do! If snowboarding truly is your passion than keep it real and never let your values be compromised. I started entirely on my own when it was still referred to as a “soon to die fad”. Now i want to maintain my own direction. Snowboarding is more than just a sport. It’s a creative outlet to explore and then contribute back into. Anyone out there can help mould it into what they want it to be. It can be so much more than just sliding down a hill on plastic. Try to be creative with it by looking at it differently than the minions/masses and I’m sure you’ll find something more than just and activity. I did and now it’s a huge part of many areas of my life. I make films about it, take photos of it, write stories inspired by it and it keeps me busy on a cold Friday afternoon. It also still scares the shit out of me and challenges me every time I strap on. So it’s not as simple a sport as so many out there. It also is one of the only sports in the world where you can exist without competing, truly unique.
BSA would like to thank Andrew for taking the time to answer these questions. We also wish him a speedy recovery to full health after his recent hip fracture injury.

No comments: